Last time I was home I noticed they were cutting in a new subdivision in my area. The name? Ashby Preserve.
When working with partners sometimes I would offer an idea, and they would respond that it felt contrived. I never understood the formula for what was contrived until I took it out of the context of advertising. Thanks to Lana for helping me with this.
contrived
not
I love you all. But, for the love of nancy, when you receive an inter-office email DO NOT forward it on to me. With the rare exception of the list of “The 25 Top Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians” (on which Chuck Klosterman made an appearance- quel surprise!) I haven’t gotten much in my gmail that would warrant a tummy tickle.
Tired of disappointment after receiving my 56th installment of “The 15 Reasons Men Are Like (insert inanimate kitchen object here)” I devised an ingenious product which would not only solve the problem at hand but prevent future versions of “Top 56 Shih Tsu’s in Princess Costumes” from landing upon my interweb doorstep.
The Personal Email Animated GIF Blocker would solve every problem at hand based on the one (statistically proven) fact that EVERY shitty forwarded email includes at least one animated gif. Most often of puppies tails wagging, or a dancing baby (oh so Ally McBeal), or any image from Microsoft Clip Art shuffling to and fro is tacked onto the bottom of an email. This product would scan emails for these blinking, dancing, objects and prevent the entire email from violating your inbox.
For an additional cost a package which blocks the keywords “say the darndest” and “aol” and “I didn’t believe it until I got my check” would be included.
But this program would not just block these emails but respond to the sender to inform them kindly that emails such as this would not be permitted in the future and a logical reason for why- they’re simply not funny. (I’m looking for a hand in helping me craft this specific discourse.) And also on the bottom of this email would be an animated gif of goatse.cx.
why you shouldn’t hire me come may.
I made this.
i stole this from the adcenter errrr brandcenter
tomorrow’s a new day, indeed.
This is my first blog. Well not my first blog, but blog entry.
I’m in Lansing now visiting my sister, who I was pleased to see has taken on the appearance of a crack addict, but must say she wears it well.
When she saw me write this she said it was “so kind” of me to say this. Then she promtply pulled out her Nikon D40 bookmark and began to take pictures of me with her 2D camera.
I’m waiting for my friend Kristin to come so we can get sushi and I can give her back her crutches. The reason I have her crutches is because I broke my baby toe, which has to be whithout a doubt the world’s most awesome injury to have to explain to the doctors.
especially when you explain to your doctor that you obtained said injury playing with your dog. However you could leave it at that and just be mildy embarassed, or you could keep talking and explain that you were trying to get your dog to chase you, and she wouldn’t. Because elaborating on the fact that you ran into a wall, and the toe wasn’t really broken “playing” with your dog, will ensure that you are thoroughly embarassed.
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